>Well after a lot of writing, sore wrists and days when I just didn;t know what I was doing or why (not to mention bending some rules beyond all recognition and some very creative sentences – gotta get that word count up up up! I now have this to show for my work:

I Won, I Won, I Won, I Won.... Wow!

I’m happy but I’m also annoyed with myself for needing to do so much semi cheating to get there.  Next year I would like to do it and leave the rules a lot more intact.  Also most of my story is in an incoherent mess of a scene here and a scene there with no ending yet.  I would ideally like to have a lot more sense next time too.

I’m probably going to disappear for a few days and then my plan is that come January I’m going to edit some sense into the damn thing.  Then, and only then, will you be able to read parts of it here.

>Crippled Humour


I found a wonderful description of what disability is earlier.

Disability is

Do It Sitting Ability

Oh and a few days ago thanks to Jacqui over at Terrible Palsy I found this list of definitions from the special education law blog..

I especially like this one:

Terrible Palsy – A condition in which onlookers and people in the community tell us how challenging it must be to have a disability or to be related to a person with a disability. This condition manifests itself through pity and audible sighing of those around you. Terrible Palsy can be deceiving because you can be asymptomatic for weeks, months, or even years, and then just when you and your family are feeling really good about your child, it can present itself in the form of a condescending pat on the head or a blessing from an anonymous busybody. Best known treatment is to carry a list of snappy comebacks in your pocket or a large bag of peanut M & Ms.

I have some good comebacks but unfortunately most people who persist in spreading Terrible Palsy about use them to make the infestation even worse.
Also I posted an entry here a few days ago asking how people would define various terms. I also posted it on No Pity and got some very interesting and in some cases funny replies. Especially the bit about Fibromyalgia and Sex (scroll down the comments) that bit made me PMSL almost literally!!!

>I can see clearly now…


I have roughly 33,000 for NaNo, haven’t checked for the exact word count for a while.

I went for my flu jab this morning and they asked if I would stay and have my blood pressure checked after. Well, it appears that I am dead for they checked it twice and it failed to get a reading both times.

I was meant to go at 4pm but they rang me yesterday and told me that a computer error had made the appts in the afternoon when the clinic was in the AM. Yeah, it was pissing it down with rain at 10:30 when I left to get there. at 3:30 when I would have had to leave if not for the change? No rain whatsoever. Not fun.
And then I went to pick up new glasses… they are lush! Lookie:
I can see clearly now...

So I might be clinically dead but hey at least I have new glasses and I’m protected against the flu!

>grouchy carer-ness

>I have 30,415 words for NaNoWriMo. And I am grouchy as heck because my care got scheduled for a really sucky time which screws all my plans up. Not going out plans but I forgot it had been changed (is usually 16:50 ish and today is down for 17:35) and so had worked out when I would write and when I would watch tv etc etc and now it’s all messed up.

Hopefully the visit will be at least productive (I have my doubts) and then I might be less grouchy. And even more hopefully i won’t have to hear about her god damn love life.
Yup these last couple of weeks have not been good for me care wise!

>How would you define

>Cross-posted pretty much everywhere on the Internet

OK because I was wondering…

How would you define

  • Healthy?
  • Disabled?
  • Ill?
  • Disadvantaged?
  • Suffer/Suffering?

And other like terms.
What do you think when people ask what your illness is or if you are bothered by being around “healthy” people? Do people ask you those sort of questions or am I the only person blessed in that way?



Highlights of the day:

I got bored of the red on here so it’s back to purple.

My official typed up word count for NaNo is now more the 25,000. And I was scribbling in my notebook while lying in front of the tv early so I do actually have a few more words (probably around 27K once typed I imagine).

I have nine more days for 25K more words. do able but eeeek!

Heat packs are the worlds best thing for sore backs. To heat one up and then slip it behind my back in my chair and feel the warm pulsing into my back and radiating up and down it is pure bliss.

If I ever win the lottery I am buying a tilt in space wheelchair, a rise recline armchair and a laptop.

>Update-y stuff

>I am getting two very wicked new pairs of glasses, they were on offer and I also had something nice done for me at the opticians. and my wicked new glasses? they are going to be in NEXT SATURDAY!!! I thought it would be three weeks or so because usually it’s around two weeks and I’m having one pair tinted which I assumed would take longer.

Apparently one of the local car parks is dishing out reduced eye tests with their parking tickets. And they come in twos. Someone right before me (I don’t know who) had a spare and told them to use it for someone else – they gave me the discount and so I got my eye test half price.
So I’m getting this pair of glasses almost exactly as is on the screen. and I’m also getting this pair but in a bluey colour frame and with blue tinted lenses too. Contrary to what they seemed to think in specsavers I’m not planned to have those as my sunglasses (or sunnies as she called them) but as everyday ones.

Current NaNoWriMo Word Count: 22,645. Not bad considering I didn’t get anything written until 5 and then took two hours out for dinner and x-factor! More importantly I think what I wrote today is some of the stronger stuff.

>NaNoWriMo, Quotes, Glasses, Carers, Cats and Birthday Stuff

>NaNoWriMo Word count: 20,457. Couldn’t really find my writing mojo yesterday but those 457 words on the end of that number? I did manage to write them. I have to go to the opticians in three hours and I hope to add at least another 1-2K to that number before then.

Ah yes, the opticians. I have two pairs of glasses, an everyday pair and a when I feel like making a statement/having a change pair. On thursday I was making a statement and I’ve been having to make one every day since… because my everyday pair lost a disagreement with my K. Add to that the facts that I was supposed to get my eyes tested after a year as these were my first ever glasses and its been a year and a half+ and also the fact that specsavers have a 2-4-1 offer on… well it’s time for a new pair (or two in this case!)

“As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back. Don’t be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.”

~Author Unknown

I *love* this quote!

At the moment I am finding having care frustrating. It will pass, it always does but for the time being it’s a huge irritation and I wish it didn’t get like this! They are being inspected soon and I am very interested to read the new report. Lets just say that the inspectors sent a card round to all the clients saying to contact them if we wanted a say and well, I did.

I finally managed to book tickets for me and mum to go to see Cats for my birthday. We’ve both seen it (seperately) in London some time ago – I went with Maryse and Albert when I was probably 11 maybe 12 and I don’t know who mum went with. But it’s playing in Oxford for most of december. Mum said I could have this for my birthday treat… quite why I had to be the one to book the tickets and pay for them for my birthday treat I don’t know but she says she’ll pay me back. And I gave her a list of three books that I want for my birthday or christmas.

And yes, before someone asks because people always do… i do get presents for both!


>I am crying as I write this and can hardly see the screen to do so.

When my Gran died we asked, at her funeral, for donations in her memory instead of flowers from people outside of the family. Because she loved horses we asked that the donations be made to Riding for the Disabled Association, specifically to the group which I was a member of for so long and which gave me so much for something like 16 years.

My Dad told me yesterday that we raised something like £380 for them and that he has a letter from the treasurer acknowledging it and hoping I am doing well at home; I haven’t seen it but I hope to at the weekend.

How proud am I that my Gran inspired such love and friendship that we could raise so much money? And how proud I know she would be too.

But how sad that it came to this. I’ve just been re-reading all of the entries from around that time and the feelings are all still so raw.

>Well Done You

>When I was about twelve I worked with an OT (occupational therapist) through my school. Actually I’ve worked with OT’s both in and out of school throughout my whole life, but this specific one I’m thinking of was through school and I was 12 ish. She also worked with two other friend of mine of the same age who also have CP.

And all three of us hated her. Her initials were SAD and as soon as we figured that out we never referred to her amongst ourselves by her name or as our OT but as that sad woman. Whenever we would be doing something for/with her and we completed a task or part of a task she would go “Well, well done you.” in the most simpering, irritating, patronising voice. Every. Single. Time.

[Being that my best friend now works as an OT I should probably clarify here that my problems with OT’s relate to that specific one in particular and occasionally to the system/regulations they are forced to work under, not the profession.]

Everyone at school who had anything to do with her knew she did that and that we hated it (apart from her, one assumes) – I remember when she left, it was to have a baby and several people commented that they hoped right after it was born one of the midwives would say “well, well done you” and then she would see how blasted annoying it was.

Ever since then I have hated anyone saying “Well, Well done you” or even simply “well done, you” to me. Hated it. With. A. Vengence. Today someone said “well done, you” to me several times.

As you might remember back at the beginning of October there was some concern over my work at CAB and a chance that I wouldn’t be able to be declared competent and receive my certificate as a generalist adviser. And that if that happened I would have to stop seeing clients. I only vaguely mentioned it.

Anyway, the plan was that today I would do an observed interview where I saw a client and my guidance tutor sat in with me. That was planned so that she could tell me what I could do to improve my performance based on the concerns they had and what she saw as she observed me.
So in we went with this client and her baby who she had with her. It was kinda cosy in their with all of us and my walker and the lady’s pram so for once I chucked my walker out of the room (being that I had my own personal runner for the morning who I knew would only leave the room if I did). She had a debt problem and we spent somewhere between an hour and a half and two hours with her. Well, by we I meant I did the work and my tutor sat and watched me do it.

Part way through we came out of the room so that I could check something with the supervisor who also doubles as our resident debt specialist. And I was met with the news from my tutor that it was all fine from the point of view of my work and this was no longer a supervised interview.

It was my assessed interview.

As in, the last, final, ever part of my training process.

So we went back in and I finished off and then I got feedback from my tutor. As part of which she asked me how I thought it had gone. I told her that I hate being asked that ;). Then she said that it had gone well, i’d made the client feel welcome and comfortable, cracked a few jokes to break the ice (not deliberate just how i am I guess). I made one teeny tiny not even particularly a big deal mistake but that was it. She said she had no problems declaring me competent but that I need to remember to check my advice with the supervisor and get support/help where necessary. She did recognise however that sometimes that’s a bit of a pain in the bum for me because of walking around etc.

So then I asked her “so does that mean I’m getting my certificate?”

Her reply?

“Well, not right now. I do have to send away for it you know, but yes, you are getting it.”

Then throughout the rest of the morning she commented “well done you” a few times.

And strangely enough for the first time in about twelve years that phrase didn’t bother me because I was too happy 😀

We have to meet the week after next to finish off the paperwork because this wasn’t planned to be the finishing point for me but… I’m a fully qualified generalist adviser!

Woooooooooooo Hoooooooooooo!!!