>…not for me!
It’s week thirteen of the May Day Challenge.
And I am down another 3lb for a total of ONE STONE!! (14lb!!!)
Body image and our view of ourselves is a strange thing sometimes.
Yesterday was a fat day, I felt and looked (to me at least) really fat. But it was also a day when it became obvious to me how much weight I truly have lost.
The day before I went on holiday I had a bit of a panic about not having enough cool clothes to take. So I went to Sainsburys and I bought two pairs of shorts, an 18 and a 20. I never actually wore them because it wasn’t overly warm but I did try them on.
The 20’s fitted me fine, they were wearable if not fabulous in fit (I suspect a 22 would have been too big). The 18’s I could do up but they cut into me and I couldn’t breathe. So I called that as them not fitting (progress! previously it would of been “of course they fit, damn it”)
Last week I wore my brown shorts (the bigger ones) a few times and they weren’t fitting well. I’m so used to clothes not fitting because they are slightly small that I assumed that’s what it was. Not a happy thought. But I then realised that they were actually slipping down because they were too loose!
I fished my smaller ones out and I wore them yesterday for the first time. I’ve got them on now too. They fit, they are comfortable and they look good.
When I got to yesterday evening still wearing them, still comfortable – that’s when I realised that my body image is messed up and whilst I am fat, I’m not that fat. Not any more!
And, I hope and pray, never again.