>No loss again this week.

Which actually I guess is a good thing.  Because I means that I. Am. Maintaining. My. Weight!!

I’ve lost 23lb since July and I’m keeping it off.  Yayness.  Maintaining even when it’s accidental and happening instead of continuing loss, rocks.

I would, however, love to lose another 5lb this year.

>Cryptic Entry

>It’s been, what, maybe, three months? since my counselling ended. And once in a while I get to missing it. And also once in another while I spot a way in which I benefited from it and managed to make positive changes to my life.

Today is both of those “once in a whiles” all at once.

I can’t talk about specifics because, as you’ll know if you read regularly, I signed a confidentiality agreement at CAB. Well possibly I could as this doesn’t actually relate to a client but I am also trying not to rant or moan or generally write about people who may read this. Or to inadvertantly identify other people. It’s actually not that easy to do but I’m giving it a shot. I think it’s important and maybe part of my growth as a blogger. Although, it does sort of make me wish this was anonymous.

Anyways, I digress, once again.

Actually, I can’t explain this very well.

Lets just say that something really innoculous happened and really was just someone trying to be helpful but going about it completely the wrong way (and which potentially could have caused a huge problem had the circumstances been different). And I just ended up feeling belittled and like the fact that I had the authority/experience and was supposed to be in charge was ignored/undermined.

But then I was able to think that when I had been the one in the opposite position I’d found it hard to not do those things and that a lot of the issue was my perspective. I didn’t get angry, I didn’t get upset. I did get frustrated but I made sure my client didn’t see it, maybe the other person did but I don’t think so.

What I did do was let it go and then later when I had five minutes with my supervisor and their supervisor I checked what the procedure is supposed to be and said to them that I knew it is hard to do and it was a case of simply forgetting but it had happened. We all agreed that there are ways and means of handling things and that this needs to be reiterated to the newer staff.

I was pretty proud of myself.

Even more so when my supervisor deliberately said something to me she knew I’d not like to wind me up. And I just went “yeah OK then thats fine.” Then she told me she’d been joking and complimented me on the way I just took it.

So yeah it was a bit of a reminder of the progress I made (which I don’t often see for myself) and it’s something that if I were to go back to my counsellor I would discuss with her.

But you know what, I don’t need to right now.

>You know things are about to get interesting…

>…when you go up to a group of people in Starbucks and go “Either you’re going to think I’m really crazy or you’re the group of people I’m supposed to be meeting.” and one of them doesn’t so much as reply as take his t shirt off

Ok, so it was to show that underneath he had his radioactive yellow Municipal liaison shirt for NaNoWriMo as  proof that they were actually the people I was meeting.

I haven’t laughed that much in a long time.  It was brilliant.

How long is it until November?!  I want the madness to start now… (even tho it sort of did, LoL)

And I know see that Steve has posted on the forums wondering if taking off his t-shirt got him two new members, what will happen if he takes more clothes off.

Looks like I’m going to fit in well with the other people in the Eleventh Month group (aka Oxfordshire NaNoWriMo-ers).

Oh and in another moment of sheer stupidity, I also signed up to do NaBloPoMo as well.   And as for NaKniSweMo?  Well, that’ll have to wait for next year.

>Everything still remains the same…

>No loss this week.

No gain either.

I have been really doing well (I thought) this week but lets just say that I had suspected my body wouldn’t show a loss this week for various reasons.   My waist measures exactly the same today as it did on Sept 19th which I again am not surprised by.

Hopefully things will be working properly again by next week and I may see some progress.


>It’s just before 6.45 and I have a friend coming round at 7. This is going to be my blog carnival entry for this week… IF I get it done in that time frame (yeah, had to get that If in there…)

An idea I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is how much my life would be improved if people thought about what they were saying before they said it.

If people would stop insisting that my life must be so hard. I met a new work colleague who asked if I can drive. I said no, but that it doesn’t bother me because I live five minutes away from the train station and I have my powerchair. That was met with the insistance that it had to be really hard for me not to drive etc etc. I replied that given how close I am to the station the train is probably less hassle than driving and cheaper too. As a point of fact both my Dad and brother (who live a little bit further away from the station but not much) get the train to work as it’s easier. But no, if I learnt to drive it would be easier for me. I have considered driving and been told it’s not possible for me.

If people would stop asking ridiculous questions and start asking more intelligent and relevant ones. The new carer I had for the second time today took the time to say to me “I don’t mean to be rude or ignorant but what does having CP mean, what are your symptoms?” That is a really good question. One that allows honest and open communication and understanding. And it also better enables her to support me as my abilities and limitations are more clear to her. Plus it’s the sort of question I don’t mind answering.

Someone else I am acquainted with asked me the first time we met how I managed the loo. And every so often now will ask me “hows your mobility? improving?” and once again I must explain that CP is incurable condition and it won’t. This is always followed up by “maybe they will find a cure soon.” My Mum actually thinks it’s just her way of opening a conversation with me, seeing how I am. I’d much rather she asked “So… how’ve you been?”

The most annoying thing people do lately which would improve my life if it went away is tell me they know exactly how I feel/what I go through. I wrote a few weeks ago about someone I know being hit by a lorry and breaking several bones. She’s out of hospital and has spent some time in a wheelchair. Currently she’s walking with crutches, but more specialist than the regular ones. When I saw her she was going “Emma! I know exactly what you go through now.” and insistent on telling me all of her used a wheelchair stories. Like how people who use a chair either for the first time or as a one off for a short period invaribly go “you wouldn’t believe it…” Because yeah, a few weeks in a chair doesn’t mean you understand a life in a chair. And as for not believing it? The only part of that I have trouble believing is that you really thought it would be any different to how it was. Welcome, to MY world.

So basically, the best way for my life to be improved would be for more awareness. And for less emphasis on the need for a cure. I don’t need a cure and truly believe that CP will never be cured. I’m happy just the way I am. If people accepted that and I didn’t have to deal with people who don’t agree, don’t accept that, and try to change my mind… I’d be a much happier cripple.

It’s just 7.01 and the entry is done before my friend gets here, yay!

>Worth it


“Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.  So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don’t.  Believe that everything happens for a reason.  If you get a chance, take it.  If it changes your life, let it.  Nobody said it’d be easy, they just promised it’d be worth it.”

How brilliantly apt and wonderfully just right for today is that?!  Love it.

>A HTML of a weekend

>OK, so most of this site design is actually CSS and not HTML but I couldn’t resist using that title! Kind’ve a play on words, so to speak.

I’ve been working on this new layout every day since Thursday and with it have learnt how to do several new things with WP and also some CSS which I’ve not worked with before. I am beyond pleased with it and very, very excited. It’s kind of hard to believe that it’s just the basic Kubrick theme seriously hacked to pieces and put back together with extras and in a different order.

In case you don’t know what Kubrick looks like, we’ve gone from this…
Basic default Kubrick theme with no modifications

To this…

So it’s all pretty much about the yayness right now.

>Work in progress, again

>I’m currently giving this blog a huge overhaul and redesign.  So please excuse the fact that I’ve been changing my theme about every five minutes and the fact that in places it’s a mess of code.

I’m very excited because I figured out how to do several things new with the layouts.

>Week four?

>I think it’s week four of the Look Great in 2008 challenge, anyway.

I’m down another 1lb for a total of 23lb now.  Which I’m pleased about.  I haven’t had time to do measurements and I’m sneaking on at CAB now so I will do them later and add them in.

I’m trying to come up with something of a plan to allow me to stop feeling like I’m floundering and treading water and allow me to actually work on this again.  Otherwise I will not be looking great in 2008, I’ll still be working on it. 

I think the plan will involve weights, some of the goals in my 101 in 1001 (nutritional ones, mostly) and once my powerchair is up to speed again getting back in the pool more often.

 I also need a plan because I tend to struggle at this time of year with the dark nights (and I noticed I was yesterday) – I think that will involve daily exercise on top of the meds.

But we shall see.

p.s. this blog looks terrible on this computer, must do soemthing about that!

>I come bearing gifts…

>…of milk!

I decided to do a spot of online food shopping and arranged a delivery from Tesco for this afternoon.  They were here even before my delivery slot started so they get lots of brownie points for that.

They brought everything I ordered with two exceptions which they told me about.

And they brought me an unexpected “present” too…

12 pints of skimmed milk.

I didn’t order any milk.

They didn’t charge me for it.

If I had ordered milk I would have ordered 2 pints of semi skimmed.

but no, it’s just there… 12 pints of skimmed milk.

No rhyme, no reason… just milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, milk!