argh,  CP related,  down,  friends,  guilt,  powerchair,  Uncategorized

>Guilt, Guilt, Guilt!

>Today is a tough day.  I am very glad it is nearly over!

I’ve been trying (and failing, I might add) to write out and explain the whats and whys and wherefores for some time.

The short version is the battery on my powerchair died on me in town earlier and I had to call in favours to get me home and get some of the things I was trying to do done like fetch my meds and do some shopping for me.  It was hard for me to ask for those and I felt pretty guilty that three different people had to put themselves out to rescue me and help me out.  Believing that I have CP, it doesn’t have me might be a great attitude to have most of the time.  But sometimes I have to ask for help and that’s not easy.

Then a right gossipy cow I sort of know eavesdropped on a conversation between me and one of my “rescuers”.  She could have just said to me “oh i don’t know if you know but disabled people can blah blah blah, that might be easier for you.” but no, I could told I should have done blah blah blah and saved my friend running around after me.

Yeah, thanks for that, love, I do guilt well enough on my own without you trying to pile more on me.  And the way you then told several people that my chair had died on me?  Nice, that.  Really nice.  Particularly as that’s the second time in a month you’ve  done the eavesdrop and spread it about thing to me.

I am very very grateful to have the friends that I do – the ones who rescued me today and the one who rescued me on Saturday when I locked myself out (my parents are on holiday).  Even if they do sometimes (today) tell me to shut up – because I couldn’t stop saying how sorry I was and thank you for helping me etc etc ad infinitum.

It might not be quite time for bed yet but I think it’s definitely time for chocolate!

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