>I think most people with visually obvious disabilities have probably experienced the thing where people off the street or other people you’ve just met come up to you and tell you how by simply living your life and doing day to day stuff you are inspirational and a hero and all that other sort of general crap. And often they go on to mention that they “could never do it”.
It’s a perspective issue.
They see the disability and see it in comparison with their own lives. So, whereas from my perspective it’s no big deal from others it seriously is. They find it hard to come to my point and I find it hard to accept theirs.
Because of the frame of reference from which they approach it.
I’m also sure that most people have had one of those conversations where you’re chatting with a friend and the subject of another person you both know comes up in the conversation. Maybe one of you hasn’t seen them for a while and asks the other if they have, do they know how they are, that sort of thing.
I had two such conversations with two friends about two different people over the last sort of six weeks.
Both times my friend has had an observation about the person we were talking about and it was something i’d never seen in that person before for example, a bit lacking in confidence or easily discouraged or “glass is half empty”. And I was sat there astounded. I’d not seen that before but as soon as they said it it made so much sense.
But from my perspective it wasn’t there. Even though it was right in front of my face. That person could do with being given more encouragement or whatever. And knowing that, seeing it from another persons perspective has helped me to try to be a better friend. To try not to take everything at face value.
People do that to me. I try not to do it to people I see on the street. It’s time I stopped doing it to my friends.