>I met Margo yesterday (who hopefully will fix her blog soon so that link actually works! She said she planned too). Very fun and great to meet her. I didn’t expect her to sound like she does though. Which totally makes no sense especially as I couldn’t figure out how I had expected her to sound.
Actually that seems to be a bit of a theme with me and meeting online friends in person because I was surprised by the way Jo sounded when I met her and Hannah a few years ago. But that was even more ridiculous because she has a birmingham accent and I knew that’s where they live so it shouldn’t have surprised me!
Anyway, I digress again.
The focus group was pretty interesting but again not really what I expected. Thought provoking, both the situations we discussed and also some of the reactions of others in the group surprised me. Mum and I had a laugh about that when I told her last night. I’d thought I’d of had a lot more to say than I did. The heat did a pretty wicked number on my head though which didn’t help. Neither did my own confidence issues to a certain extent. And of course I’d have more to say now if I went back because that’s always the way! I don’t want to say too much about it specifically though because it’s Margo’s research.
One of my friends tells me I get scary when I get my activist/advocate hat on and go off on one about such things. She should have met a couple of the other women at the focus group (everyone was a wheelchair user and actually everyone was female although that wasn’t deliberate). They were so activist-y I found them kinda intimidating and scary. I can’t decide if that’s a goal to aim for when I grow up or now. To be honest right about now I think I’m happy falling into the middle ground amongst the shades of grey.
I got to the station and they said “you’re really early. Can’t put you on an earlier train though it’s the one on the platform, won’t get you there in time.” So I had to hang around for an hour which was fine until the guy told me the train was nearly in and moved me right into a suntrap for half an hour. Back came the headache, slept a bit on the train which did help. I missed my codeine though. Stupid girl for thinking I wouldn;’t need it. Then we got to Coventry and my half an hour between trains turned into an hour and a half as all trains in and out were cancelled for a good hour. Thankfully my wicked bad headache cleared up around that point – but only after I threw up twice. Thank god for RADAR keys, otherwise that would have been my second throwing up in public event this month (I’ve been really classy lately, can’t ya tell?) The next hour sat in a shady spot in the station was very annoying but probably a blessing as I cooled down, pushed fluids in and lost the headache by the time we moved again.
There was a point to my humiliating myself mentioning the puking in public thing. I’ve come to the conclusion that all the people who stop me and ask if I want help only do so to look good and don’t expect me to want help. Because with both the times I’ve been ill in public people have walked past me, looked at me and gone on. I didn’t need help either time and would have asked if I did – BUT I could have understood why people might stop and ask then and even would have found that easier to deal with.
It was very very much hurry up to wait and it wasn’t fun travelling but over all I was glad I went. Today I am tired and I’ve been either in bed or six inches away from my fan all day but am off to see Mamma Mia in five minutes so I must run.