>down thoughts, telling it like it is (part one)

>Today I think/feel/fear is going to be a down day.

Ideally I’d just like to hide away at home and around here doing my own thing.  But my Great Aunt is visiting my parents for the day and I promised to join them for lunch.  So I will go.

I’ve spent a lot of time this year and last year making sure that if I don’t do something it’s not because of a can’t be bothered down-ness type thing.  And I’m very proud of the fact that I’ve managed that really well.  I think I’ve not done it for the entire time if that makes sense.  Can’t remember for sure but that’s what I think.

Part of the issue, I think is that I believe in telling it like it is and some members of my family don’t like it.  My Dad had words with me last week about being negative.  He’d heard my half of a phone conversation and said it gave the impression I wasn’t enjoying the regatta.  The issue I think being I’d said I’d not sailed that afternoon and there was stuff planned for the evening but I wasn’t sure if we would do it or not.  And then I get frustrated and all that.  I don’t think my mum actually thought I wasn’t enjoying myself and I do think it’s an issue which is a lot more involved than that.  But as I say, it frustrates me and it worries me a little.

I have a lot more to write on this topic but little in the way of time – I’m supposed to be at my parents in about forty minutes so I need to get ready.  Probably once I get there I will feel better.  I am looking forward to it after all.

Time I went to find my happy face.

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