“Time, which changes people, does not alter the image we have retained of them.” ~ Marcel Proust.
I was looking for quotes and I came across this. It’s very apt particularly as I seem in be in a period of ongoing change in my life at the moment.
I think some of the changes may have the potential to be very good for me once they’re finished with. But not all of them were my choice or are under my control. And a couple of them are pretty scary. I had a pretty big panicked cry over one the other day. Not fun.
I know that once this is sorted out I’ll be OK. In some shape or form. But that might not be one I’d like or have chosen. And that’s pretty huge. I’ll be OK. That’s what matters. I’ll be fine.
The journey will probably suck but in the end all will be well.
I was thinking though that sometimes I can’t understand who I am any more. I don’t see the girl I used to be under who I seem to be right now. I don’t see me. Emma is lost, perhaps.
Then I read this quote and I realised that I know who I am right now, what I’ve done, where I’ve been, what I want from life etc. But my mental view of who I am, the girl I picture when I think of myself and how things used to be? That needs to catch up a little after all the changes I’ve had.
I’ll be playing catch up for a long time perhaps. And maybe I never will see where I am in the moment when I picture who I am and set expectations for myself. But I suspect that’s normal and the same for everyone else CP or no. Life isn’t static, after all.
But CP sure as hell complicates things.