Chasing a dream

I’ve always wanted to write.  It’s been a dream of mine for a long time to have a book published.  It’s not one I’ve worked on very consistantly over the years but I love to write and I’ve dreamt of author moments.

I’m trying at the moment to use the daily writing mojo I built up doing the book a day prompts to make a big dent into the novel I’ve been planning to write all year.

I set a goal at the beginning of the year to have a complete draft by the end of the year and unless I get my act into gear that goal isn’t going to happen. I’ve written bits here and there.  And I’ve written the same couple of scenes more than once.  But I’ve not got anything of substance to show for it. So making that happen is my August goal.  Maybe not a finished draft but enough of something down on the page to see the bare bones and have something that could be said to be an attempt at a book.

In some ways it’s going well.  In others it’s not.  The biggest problem is that I keep reading back bits of what I’ve written and liking them.  The smaller bits.  The majority of what I’ve written has felt like pulling teeth when I do it and then when I look back I spot things I could change or that are wrong.

So I get worked up and convince myself that actually, I can’t write.  I’m never going to be able to write.  This is a stupid goal and all the time and money I’ve spent writing and on classes and books about writing has been wasted and just generally what’s the point?

Then somehow I manage to get it together and I write a tiny bit more.  And you know it’s no where near as many words I think I need to have written or should have written but it’s words and they’re ok in my opinion and I start to think maybe I can do this.

For a little while.

But then it’s lather, rinse, repeat.

Back to the stressed out I can’t do this.

Who knew chasing your dream could be so stressful?

2 thoughts on “Chasing a dream”

  1. A first draft is for your eyes only. And the second, third, fourth, fifth… why get upset? Why is your critic sitting in on this writing process at all? Just tell her to take until the end of the year off, and shut the door on her til you get some work done. Then let rip. Let it pour out of you any old how. Just go for it! Only bring your censor in if she promises to behave, and only after the hundredth draft. xxx 🙂

  2. Chasing a dream is such a lovely term. To me it is full of hope and exciting and encouraging. It motivates me and makes me want to search and seek as well as run.
    I can only catch my dream if I know from the outset that I am going to make it. I believe in you more than you believe in yourself. You do have a ‘warrior spirit’. I enjoy reading your style of writing so please go, throw yourself to your goal which is attainable.

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