What I haven’t missed in lockdown

I was struggling a bit with my mood last week. I commented to one of the carers that I had a few things planned – a top up food shop, a trip to podiatry etc and I hoped doing those unremarkable, normal things would help. Certainly in the November lockdown I had a shitty few days and then had a day that was what would have been normal pre-covid (my Dad came to look at my washing machine, I went to the dentist and into coop.) and unexpectedly it really helped.

Well I did my top up food shop yesterday which was only the second time I’d been in a shop this year (the first time was last week). And today I went to podiatry.

I experienced ableism in Sainsburys. On the way to podiatry I got stuck because a car was blocking the path outside a house having building work (not the first this year I’ve got stuck at that point) and I had to ask a lady walking a dog to ask the builders to move it. And then on the way home I had to go in the road briefly to get round an Amazon van.

So I don’t really feel better. But being angry has distracted me from my depression. And sending Sainsburys tweets about what happened did give me something to do I suppose…

Ableism, discrimination and microaggressions have always been part of my normal that disappeared rapidly and almost unnoticed when I started shielding, And I did say I wanted some normality. I’m not naive enough to think it was never going to happen again. But this was definitely a case of back with a vengeance.

I can’t say it was the normality I wanted, or that I missed it,

March Reads

I still feel like I’m not reading as much as I’d like. Although it’s also true that I abandoned one book and have two paperbacks and an audiobook that I started but have yet to finish. But here’s what I did finish in March. I have made plans to cut down my internet time this month (specifically by not reading fanfiction) so I anticipate reading more in April.

I’m not sure that I have a favourite and a least favourite book this month, I liked everything that I finished but nothing really stood out. I was pleased to read two books that have sat unread on my selves/kindle for well over 5 years, very possibly closer to nine or ten years.

Books marked 1001 count towards my goal of reading 40 more books from Boxall’s 1001 books you must read before you die before my 40th birthday in December.

  1. The Courage To Care by Christie Watson (audiobook)
  2. The Grass is Singing by Doris Lessing (1001)
  3. Coming Home to Brightwater Bay by Holly Hepburn
  4. My Kind of Happy by Cathy Bramley
  5. White Teeth by Zadie Smith

So far in 2021 I have read 15 books or 6096 pages.