What I haven’t missed in lockdown

I was struggling a bit with my mood last week. I commented to one of the carers that I had a few things planned – a top up food shop, a trip to podiatry etc and I hoped doing those unremarkable, normal things would help. Certainly in the November lockdown I had a shitty few days and then had a day that was what would have been normal pre-covid (my Dad came to look at my washing machine, I went to the dentist and into coop.) and unexpectedly it really helped.

Well I did my top up food shop yesterday which was only the second time I’d been in a shop this year (the first time was last week). And today I went to podiatry.

I experienced ableism in Sainsburys. On the way to podiatry I got stuck because a car was blocking the path outside a house having building work (not the first this year I’ve got stuck at that point) and I had to ask a lady walking a dog to ask the builders to move it. And then on the way home I had to go in the road briefly to get round an Amazon van.

So I don’t really feel better. But being angry has distracted me from my depression. And sending Sainsburys tweets about what happened did give me something to do I suppose…

Ableism, discrimination and microaggressions have always been part of my normal that disappeared rapidly and almost unnoticed when I started shielding, And I did say I wanted some normality. I’m not naive enough to think it was never going to happen again. But this was definitely a case of back with a vengeance.

I can’t say it was the normality I wanted, or that I missed it,

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