• 2018,  acceptance,  disability,  things people say

    The Things I Can’t Do

    Someone declared a few months ago that there “must be lots of things I want to do but can’t.” They mentioned someone they knew was ill (I believe – had been hospitalised anyway) and was finding they couldn’t do stuff. I think they may have been venting frustrations. I said no, I didn’t know how that felt because I can do everything I want to do. From her reaction, I don’t think she believed me and I ended up back tracking and justifying that statement by pointing out that I’m lifelong disabled so I’ve never known any different (I am annoyed with myself that I allowed her to make me…

  • 2016,  acceptance,  argh,  attitudes,  awareness,  CP related,  frustrations,  things people say,  Uncategorized,  wheelchair

    “She’ll run you over”

    There are a lot of allegedly jokey comments that people make about or to me as a wheelchair user.  Usually well meaning and perhaps an attempt at being funny. They aren’t funny.  Most of them never were but one or two may have been if not for the fact that I hear them all the time.  I’m talking about the “women drivers” comments. The people who say “do you have a license for that thing?” Those who randomly see me and go “no speeding!” And many others. I often roll my eyes at that sort of thing and let it go because it’s usually strangers and theres no point getting…

  • 2016,  acceptance,  access,  CP related,  Uncategorized

    “Well”

    Earlier this week I was talking to an acquaintance who was saying I handle things very well.  They’d been around when I’d found myself struggling with access woes a while ago and been impressed with how I handled it. It’s not the first time since that this has come up. They mentioned that I’m not the only disabled person they know and the others get angry in ways I don’t. I think it is – or was meant to be – a compliment. I’m not sure I did handle it well. I’m not sure it’s a situation that can be handled well – life doesn’t come with a handbook for…

  • 2015,  acceptance,  attitudes,  books and reading,  disability,  fiction,  language,  quotes,  Uncategorized

    “Special Needs”

    Language around disability is a really tricky thing. Some terms are acceptable to some people and completely unacceptable to others. Some are fine for disabled people to use amongst themselves or to refer to themselves but problematic when used by strangers.  And there are times when disabled people argue amongst themselves about the terms.  People first language and identity first language are two of the biggest culprit’s there. One term that I’ve been saying I don’t like and arguing against for the last few years is “special needs”  I can explain why I don’t like it but it’s something I find others always agree with although some people do come…

  • 2015,  A to Z blogging challenge,  acceptance,  access,  disability,  Uncategorized

    I is for…

    I is for Impossible As a disabled person and particularly as one who is both life long disabled and a woman there can be a lot of barriers in my way. Actual physical access is the big one although awareness of that and facilities are improved a lot and the amount they’ve changed just within my lifetime is huge.  That’s not to say there isn’t a long way to go because there is.  I just read an interesting blog by Anika about that. Attitudes and awareness are in many ways a much bigger barrier.  If people refuse to understand why I can’t be carried down a flight of stairs or…

  • 2014,  acceptance,  access,  advocacy,  argh,  Uncategorized

    Fed Up

    I’m a bit fed up of not getting actual answers to my questions but just a stream of talking that dances around the question of not being treated with respect of having to point out what should be really obvious of having people blame things on my disability which in reality have nothing to do with my disability. Only thinking or saying “well she is disabled” makes it easier for them than having to accept and admit  that they fucked up. of the fear that this time when they’re predicting snow will be the time when it actually comes. of the words “but it’s your rent money that pays for…

  • 2013,  acceptance,  Self-Care,  Uncategorized

    Self-Care Sunday: Failure

    I feel like self care has been a failure this week and I’ve not achieved any of the taking care of myself goals I’d set for this week. I wanted to eat healthier and I haven’t. In fact a lot of my eating this week could be considered binge like. Or at least some of it. I wanted to spend less time online and I haven’t. I have reduced my online time a little but not every day and not the large amounts I wanted too. I’ve not got my med compliance back to 100% either But when I stop and think about it: I know that whereas its been…

  • 2013,  acceptance,  Uncategorized

    Self-Care Sunday

    Image is from Facebook. It’s a photo of what I think is a group of porpoises. The text over the top reads: “Self care is more than just eating healthy. Self care is taking care of you. So if that means eating a heap of chips, having a nap, watching cheesy movies, crying, going for a walk, looking at cats or anything that makes you feel good, do it because you are worth taking care of. Last year I took part in an NHS weightloss scheme called Oxfordshire weight loss lifestyle services or OWLS. And it pretty much destroyed my self esteem. They couldn’t accommodate my needs as a full…

  • 2013,  acceptance,  achievements,  Attempts at World Domination,  disability,  friends,  Uncategorized

    The National Diversity Awards

    So if I were to mention the name Hannah Ensor or Stickman Communications I suspect a lot of people who read this would know who I meant. Hannah and I have known each other since our school days. Back then I was rocking the wheelie thing but not quite as well as I do now. I was walking a lot of the time which took a lot of energy and I’d fall a lot. I didn’t hurt myself often having learnt mad falling skills. And the level of acceptance i have now (possibly better referred to as my “sod it quota”) was an unthought of dream, Hannah was this accident…

  • 2013,  acceptance,  C-A-B,  courage,  disability,  ESA,  Uncategorized

    Recognition

    Not long after I wrote yesterday’s post it occurred to me that I’ve actually been doing a brilliant task lately of taking better care of myself. And that not only is the guilt I felt yesterday unnecessary, it’s also unwarranted. I’ve always struggled with recognising the good things I’m doing. For some reason it’s much easier for me to remember and focus on the negative than the positive. I suspect that’s true for most people but it feels like something I need to work on going forward. Make it a goal for the rest of the year perhaps? At CAB I often point out to clients things that from my…