I’m not sure what form self care has taken this week that I can blog about. I’ve been getting into quite a good routine, taking my baclofen and sertraline (muscle relaxant and anti-depressant) everyday, writing everyday – although not the stuff I’d really like to be writing everyday, getting a break from my wheelchair every afternoon or early evening, a fair amount of stretching but not everyday and some form of exercise most days (usually a very small amount and some days it’s been more of a phoning it in thing).
But at the same time I’ve also had a brand new PC which is very very exciting but has meant my sleep pattern has gone right out of the window and I’ve not been getting enough sleep which isn’t good! I must work on that… the trouble is when I’m on my iPad it’s easier to be aware of how long I’ve been online or faffing around playing games because the battery % goes down and then gets so low I have to charge it. Or it’s gets down to a point where I know I’ve been on too much because It’s less than two days since it’s last charge and it’s under a certain % (I always get two or sometimes three days out of a charge). Plus, the ipad is easier to put down and go do other stuff and go back to than a PC is. I think because for some reason I don’t like to have the PC on but not be using it. Although this new one boots up so quickly that may become less of an issue. I think for a first thing I need to stop putting the PC on after a certain time of night. Must work on that.
I’ve been much less social this week, in part due to a lack of opportunity. I had coffee with a friend on Tuesday and lunch with another on Friday and as always I’ve seen my parents. I also went shopping on Thursday so I saw several people I know and enjoy a brief chat with at both railway stations – loads of people think it’s weird that I’m friendly with the assisted travel staff. Make no mistake I’d not say they were my friends but I’ve known many of them for years – between the three stations I’m at most often there are at least two people who’ve known me and helped me since I first started going on the train by myself in my late teens. But there’s nothing wrong with being friendly – it takes a lot of confidence and guts to travel on the train by myself (in fact I started getting a little freaked out on Thursday when I was put on the train at the time it was supposed to leave and then it didn’t leave for 30 minutes). It’s not a big deal and I don’t want you thinking I’m brave for doing it. But I have that confidence because I know the people and who they are. Anyway, I seem to have gotten off of the topic of being social. I think it’s probably a good thing that I’ve not been out and about as much this week, I needed the break.
Speaking of breaks, one of the things I really struggle with at this time of year is the idea of snow. I don’t go out in the snow because I don’t think it’s safe when it’s properly on the ground for my powerchair. So I tend to get all “Rah! must go out because what if today is the one day I don’t go out and then I get snowed in and can’t go out for weeks” and I go and do all the things and put pressure on myself. Plus, god forbid I should leave going to get a loaf of bread until tomorrow. I might not need it today but I have to go today because it might snow.
But lately I seem to have been doing much better at having downtime and not panicking so much about the possibility of getting snowed in. I’ve had a few days at home lately including Wednesday. My new PC was coming and I was planning to stay in till it came but then they text me and said it was coming mid afternoon and I thought “right I’ll go and do this and this” and then I stopped and thought “no, you’re tired you need a break.” and I stayed home. So that’s taking care of me.
That said, I have now got to the point where a day or two of snow wouldn’t go amiss to make me get a decent break from rushing. I’m thinking if I could go to the CAB Christmas social (which we always have in January) on Tuesday evening and then wake up to snow on Wednesday morning and have it gone again Sunday that would be fabulous.