• 2017,  antidepressants,  Citalopram,  courage,  depression,  disability,  fluoxetine,  perceptions,  personal,  powerchair,  Quickie Jive,  Sertraline

    A Little Bit of Life

    (I am surprised that with nearly 2000 entries on this site I’ve never used the title A Little Bit of Life before) Two bits of not so brilliant but they could be much worse news are in my life at the moment.  I don’t think dominating my life is the right term but they are definitely big factors in everything right now.  And not easy. Life is never easy. I will start with the slightly easier one first – my powerchair is broken. The easiest way to explain it is to say it has a broken castor.  It’s more complicated than that because of the spider-trac but basically it’s not…

  • 2016,  courage,  Uncategorized

    Milo

    I used to be scared of dogs.  Full blown petrified.  I couldn’t even be in the same park as one without being frightened.  And a lot of people who had dogs would say their dog was harmless and wouldn’t scare me but it would. Or they’d tell me parents to give me a day with them and their dog and I’d come back cured. I think the problem is that there was never any thing that my parents or I could put our fingers on as the reason why I was scared (I later developed something of a fear of/hatred for cats and I can tell you exactly why that…

  • 2016,  attitudes,  complaints,  courage,  CP related,  customer service,  disability,  Uncategorized

    So Take Me As I Am

    (title is a lyric from the Meredith Brooks song Bitch) A couple of weeks ago I was asked how I’d enjoyed a show I went to by a member of staff there who I know. I had enjoyed it but there had been one thing that had happened – which was tangentally access related – that had really irritated me.  It was totally inconsequential and unlikely to be repeated but it had had an impact on my enjoyment and they asked so… I said “If I could just make one slightly bitchy point….” More recently than that I discovered that the actions of someone else have left me with a…

  • 2013,  anaemia,  courage,  depression,  down,  friends,  memories,  personal,  Uncategorized,  unexpected things

    Surrounded by Sadness

    After I wrote the things that make me happy post on Saturday I’d planned to write some more on the subject. I will write more on the subject I’m sure but tonight sees me writing about the opposite of happiness. Because there is a hell of a lot of sadness around me lately. I heard of the death of a friend of mine and my parents yesterday. It was I think the sixth death I’ve heard of in the past seven weeks. Plus my Dad was saying he and my mum know of two others who have died recently. Two distant family members. For one she was in her nineties…

  • 2013,  acceptance,  C-A-B,  courage,  disability,  ESA,  Uncategorized

    Recognition

    Not long after I wrote yesterday’s post it occurred to me that I’ve actually been doing a brilliant task lately of taking better care of myself. And that not only is the guilt I felt yesterday unnecessary, it’s also unwarranted. I’ve always struggled with recognising the good things I’m doing. For some reason it’s much easier for me to remember and focus on the negative than the positive. I suspect that’s true for most people but it feels like something I need to work on going forward. Make it a goal for the rest of the year perhaps? At CAB I often point out to clients things that from my…

  • 2013,  acceptance,  access,  awareness,  blogging,  campaigns,  courage,  CP related,  current affairs,  difficulties,  disability,  disability normal,  disability rights,  freedom,  frustrations,  hopes and dreams,  I want to change the world,  identity,  Uncategorized

    In which I ramble and am grouchy when it comes to “awareness”

    (I was going to title this “why I’m not blogging about CP awareness day” and then I realised that by writing this I pretty much was blogging about CP awareness day just not in the way most people are and that would be a pointless title) So. Word on the street the internet is that 25th March is CP awareness day. i.e. that tomorrow is CP awareness day. Except,  to me, it’s not, really.  It’s national CP awareness day in the US.  I’m not in the US and I sometimes feel like the entirety of the fucking internet resolves around people from the US  and that those of us not…

  • 2013,  benefits,  books and reading,  C-A-B,  campaigns,  courage,  disability,  Uncategorized

    For the love of a book

    I love to read. This comes as no surprise to anyone who knows me or who reads this blog regularly I’m sure. There’s just something about picking up a book and losing yourself in it. It makes me think, I learn stuff, it’s enjoyable. They make me laugh, cry and just feel. Sometimes I reach for a book as pure escapism and it also means as long as I’ve got a book or my kindle in my bag I can fill a few minutes waiting at the hairdressers or the doctors really easily and it makes the wait less annoying. According to statistics 1 in 6 adults of working age…

  • 2013,  acceptance,  antidepressants,  courage,  depression,  difficulties,  fluoxetine,  guest blog,  meds,  mental health,  normal,  Sertraline,  sharing,  treatment,  Uncategorized,  writing

    Talking, Ten Years Later

    It’s that time of the month again when I mosey on over to Bea Magazine and share what I’m thinking, feeling, doing, whatever with them. I don’t like February. There have been a lot of tough times in previous ones and there are several anniversaries now in a short time. It’s been long enough now that most of their sting has gone but still it lurks. This year I remembered the dates but it wasn’t until several days into the month when I wondered why I felt down and put it together that its often a time I struggle. Yesterday marked 10 years since I was first diagnosed with depression.…

  • acceptance,  advocacy,  attitudes,  awareness,  courage,  disability,  Disability Glossary,  honesty,  I want to change the world,  perceptions,  perspective,  tv,  Uncategorized

    Inspiration Porn

    Tonight is the yearly Children in Need appeal here in the UK. BBC One is taken over by a telethon for about seven hours. The idea is to raise money to help disadvantaged children. So you see video clips of children from other countries walking miles for water, young carers helping their mum or dad and disabled children doing things too. And it’s a given that those children will either look sad or have their story told using emotive language such as “suffers from…” Or “whilst other children are playing little Johnny must…” Interspersed with those clips are famous people doing silly stuff, frequent updates on how much has been…

  • 2012,  acceptance,  courage,  CP related,  perceptions,  personal,  Uncategorized

    Time and Change

    “Time, which changes people, does not alter the image we have retained of them.” ~ Marcel Proust. I was looking for quotes and I came across this.  It’s very apt particularly as I seem in be in a period of ongoing change in my life at the moment. I think some of the changes may have the potential to be very good for me once they’re finished with.  But not all of them were my choice or are under my control.  And a couple of them are pretty scary.  I had a pretty big panicked cry over one the other day. Not fun. I know that once this is sorted…