• 2017,  antidepressants,  Citalopram,  courage,  depression,  disability,  fluoxetine,  perceptions,  personal,  powerchair,  Quickie Jive,  Sertraline

    A Little Bit of Life

    (I am surprised that with nearly 2000 entries on this site I’ve never used the title A Little Bit of Life before) Two bits of not so brilliant but they could be much worse news are in my life at the moment.  I don’t think dominating my life is the right term but they are definitely big factors in everything right now.  And not easy. Life is never easy. I will start with the slightly easier one first – my powerchair is broken. The easiest way to explain it is to say it has a broken castor.  It’s more complicated than that because of the spider-trac but basically it’s not…

  • 2015,  antidepressants,  depression,  Self-Care,  Uncategorized

    Self Care Sunday

    It’s been a much better week than the previous one. Which is good. I’d almost say it’s been a surprisingly good week but that might be taking it too far. I’ve been taking my meds as prescribed and am up to 50mg now. I’d been convinced when I saw the doctor that might not do it (because I was on 100mg of the same med before) but actually I now think it might. It’s early days though so best to leave it and see. One of the things that I’ve been wanting to do (that’s on my twenty things list) is now planned and I’m going to do it with…

  • 2015,  depression,  doctors,  friends,  Self-Care,  Sertraline,  Uncategorized

    Self Care Sunday

    It’s generally been a terrrible week but there have been a few good moments and I’ve had a great day today despite a few moments of anxiety (new people, train faffing) I’ve had three days of antibiotics (nitrofurantoin 100mg x 2 daily) for a UTI. And I ended up feeling physically appalling. Sick, dizzy and yucky on top of the usual UTI symptoms.  Finished those yesterday and feel better today which sort of proves the theory that I’ve had for a while that nitrofurantoin makes me nauseaous. As UTIs can make me feel sick it’s been hard to tell.  I’m not 100% right yet. I had a whole night of…

  • 2015,  blogging,  carnivals,  CP related,  depression,  disability,  disability blog carnival,  disability blogs,  disability voices,  I want to change the world,  internet,  personal,  perspective,  questions,  things people say,  thinking,  twitter,  Uncategorized

    Rotation Curation for #Disability #rocur

    I’ve been curating the @OxfordIsYours twitter account.  It’s a RoCur (Rotation Curation) account for Oxford and the person who runs it said living in Oxfordshire counts. Basically RoCur is where there’s an account (often on twitter) where people take a week at a time to run it and share their experiences and tweet on the subject.  Most of these relate to places – like with Oxford Is Yours I’ve been tweeting about where I’ve been and what I’ve done – but some relate to hobbies or jobs or organisations or anything else. I’ve been enjoying it and have learned about a place in Oxford I’m going to visit soon I…

  • 2014,  antidepressants,  depression,  fluoxetine,  honesty,  meds,  mental health,  personal,  Sertraline,  things people say,  treatment,  Uncategorized

    Apparently people with mental health problems just need to “tell someone”

    So Robin Williams has died.  Suicide.  And that’s sad as any death is. Facebook is full of posts with his picture sharing phone numbers and websites of helplines.  Ones telling people that “suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”  And declarations that if you’re feeling down, if you have depression to make sure you tell someone.  Friend’s saying that they hope their friends feel capable of telling them.  And similar on twitter and other places. Here’s the thing: I have a depression diagnosis and I have a lot of anxiety at times which has been recognised by medics although it’s never been given a label like GAD (generalised…

  • 2013,  anaemia,  courage,  depression,  down,  friends,  memories,  personal,  Uncategorized,  unexpected things

    Surrounded by Sadness

    After I wrote the things that make me happy post on Saturday I’d planned to write some more on the subject. I will write more on the subject I’m sure but tonight sees me writing about the opposite of happiness. Because there is a hell of a lot of sadness around me lately. I heard of the death of a friend of mine and my parents yesterday. It was I think the sixth death I’ve heard of in the past seven weeks. Plus my Dad was saying he and my mum know of two others who have died recently. Two distant family members. For one she was in her nineties…

  • 2013,  5 minute blog,  books and reading,  depression,  Uncategorized

    Five Minutes on… Reading

    This is one of a new series of blogs I’m trying where I write for five minutes and then post whatever the result is. I use Write or Die and I’ve the five minutes is up I just finish the thought I’m in the middle of and correct the typos. It’s a form of free writing and I think I like it but this is only the second time I’ve tried it (I didn’t write this explanation in the five minute) I feel a bit like I’m in a reading slump right now. I don’t know why but I’ve been struggling to get into books lately, let alone finish them.…

  • 2013,  acceptance,  antidepressants,  courage,  depression,  difficulties,  fluoxetine,  guest blog,  meds,  mental health,  normal,  Sertraline,  sharing,  treatment,  Uncategorized,  writing

    Talking, Ten Years Later

    It’s that time of the month again when I mosey on over to Bea Magazine and share what I’m thinking, feeling, doing, whatever with them. I don’t like February. There have been a lot of tough times in previous ones and there are several anniversaries now in a short time. It’s been long enough now that most of their sting has gone but still it lurks. This year I remembered the dates but it wasn’t until several days into the month when I wondered why I felt down and put it together that its often a time I struggle. Yesterday marked 10 years since I was first diagnosed with depression.…

  • 2012,  acceptance,  access,  advocacy,  Attempts at World Domination,  Cheerful Stuff,  depression,  disability,  discrimination,  so you had a bad day,  songs of my life,  Uncategorized

    Loser Like Me

    This entry may come across as cagy. It is deliberately so. I’ve been dealing with a completely ridiculous access fail for the past 12 weeks. Basically it’s done a complete number on my self confidence and depression, serving as a weekly reminder every Thursday that I’m different and that I’m not worthy of what everyone else has. Twelve weeks of being told they’d made a decision to do X about including me and then suddenly two weeks later we’ll do Y or oh no Z instead. It is dealt with. I’m not exactly enamoured with the reasonable adjustment type solution they’ve come with. Full the same as everyone else access…

  • depression,  down,  mental health,  Uncategorized

    >How am I really?

    >Last week I had another attempt at this putting myself first lark and shared with a couple of people that I was sorry but I couldn’t provide the support they were looking to me for as I’m so busy and have a lot going on. The automatic assumption to this seemed to be that this was a very bad thing and a couple responded along the lines of “sorry you’ve still being dumped on hope it resolves”. That’s the wrong assumption however and I don’t know where it’s come from. I am very busy and whilst it’s true that my mental health is at a bit of a low ebb…