Recognition

Not long after I wrote yesterday’s post it occurred to me that I’ve actually been doing a brilliant task lately of taking better care of myself. And that not only is the guilt I felt yesterday unnecessary, it’s also unwarranted.

I’ve always struggled with recognising the good things I’m doing. For some reason it’s much easier for me to remember and focus on the negative than the positive. I suspect that’s true for most people but it feels like something I need to work on going forward. Make it a goal for the rest of the year perhaps?

At CAB I often point out to clients things that from my perspective as an adviser they’re doing well. Usually little things they’ve probably dismissed as nothing but which I frequently see clients who’ve not managed that. The usual example used in training advisers is the person who comes in with letters they’ve ignored because opening them is too much. Sometimes they’ll sit in reception and open it while they wait. But at other times the adviser does it for them, Or the person who needs to do something on a deadline and doesn’t seek help until the day before.

When I was going through the IB to ESA transfer I got the first letter and basically lost it. Totally freaked out. I was in the bureau that afternoon, still struggling. They did the same thing with me “Emma, you opened the letter and dealt with it. Think about some of our regulars in a similar position. Several of them wouldn’t have even opened it”

That recognition of the little things I’m doing right is something I need to start applying to myself. Along with looking at the bigger picture of how it all fits together to form a greater whole. I’m not sure how but I’m thinking about it.

Because the fact of the matter is: I’ve been working on three taking care of myself goals for the past week or so and achieving them.

It’s easy to forget about because they seem so small but it’s actually pretty huge

File this under “you couldn’t make it up.”

Last Wednesday I got the news that I’ve been awarded ESA for two years. I’ve been put straight into the support group. It’s definitely the right decision and now I’ve had a chance to think about things and calm down I’m relieved its sorted and ok with it. But it’s not a comfortable place and if I’m completely honest I felt like I must be much more disabled than I realised.

I wrote more about that, the ESA process and how it relates to me over on Bea Magazine

And then yesterday I got a letter telling me about my DLA entitlement for this year. And all about how DLA is being replaced by PIP. I’ll be called for reassessment for that at some point.

So I just get to the point where I can stop worrying about ESA. And now they want me to worry about my DLA?! Fantastic*

I think you file that under “couldn’t make this shit up.”

*I’m not worrying about DLA because I have an indefinite award and the reassessment process for that category doesn’t even start until 2015 (meaning my ESA will come up for reassessment first most likely) but still….