• argh,  CP related,  down,  friends,  guilt,  powerchair,  Uncategorized

    >Guilt, Guilt, Guilt!

    >Today is a tough day.  I am very glad it is nearly over! I’ve been trying (and failing, I might add) to write out and explain the whats and whys and wherefores for some time. The short version is the battery on my powerchair died on me in town earlier and I had to call in favours to get me home and get some of the things I was trying to do done like fetch my meds and do some shopping for me.  It was hard for me to ask for those and I felt pretty guilty that three different people had to put themselves out to rescue me and…

  • diet,  guilt,  Losin' It,  sick crip,  Uncategorized

    >It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas!

    >And it’s only 1st October!  And it’s looked a lot like Christmas for about two weeks.  Christmas stuff every where in the shops – completely ridiculous.  It sort of makes me mad in a way and it makes me feel really old but I can’t help thinking that it wasn’t like this when I was young (“back in my day…”).  The end of October is more than early enough to start buying sweets and stuff (or even too early still). if I bought them now I would eat them. But it’s not just shops – my mother brought the Christmas Cake yesterday.  On the last day of September. In other…

  • guilt,  sailing,  thinking,  Uncategorized

    >My Heart is Heavy

    >My heart is heavy today. And truthfully, has been for a few days but today brought news that focussed it all for me. Several people on the periphery of my life have had challenging, tough and scary times over the last week or so and it makes me ache for them, worry about them, feel. So my heart is heavy with all of that. And it makes some of the more trivial and mundane things annoy and irritate me. Especially because today brought the news a work colleague was out walking her dog last week and was hit by a lorry. She’s in hospital and her daughter tells us she’ll…