>Everything Still Remains The Same

>Weekly check in for the weight loss – same weight as last week.  I knew that had to come soon as I’ve really been doing what feels like very little in terms of changes and I’m not disappointed.  Particularly as I have been getting over my cold still.  I’m better but still a bit congested and coughing at times.  Nowhere near as badly as I was although people have been commenting that I have a bad cough (they should have heard me last week!)

I did wheel myself a lot in my chair when we were at the half marathon on Sunday.  Unfortunately some stupidly steep ramps and one point where my dad was flapping that we needed to be faster and started pushing me and wouldn’t stop when asked meant that I didn’t reach my goal of wheeling myself whenever it was needed/possible/feasible there.  The fact that the ramps stopped me is a fact of life although I will raise that point with them as safety issues.  The second really frustrates me as to me there was no need to be concerned about how fast we were (dad was worried they were going to shut one of the access points and in particular the wheelchair accessible one) but now I know what his concern was it is still frustrating but more understandable.  And I’m not overly slow wheeling my chair.  Not unless you compare me to the wheelchair athletes who did the half marathon.  But still nothing I can do about that now…

>Very Bad Cold

>I’m down another 1lb this week for a total of 6lb since Valentines day.  I’m surprised by that today given that I have a very bad cold (downgraded this morning from yesterday’s status of very very bad cold).  I’ve not felt like eating but I’m also the queen of congestion and mucus at the moment.

I’m hoping I can lose another 3lb in the next two weeks as I get my eyebrows waxed that week and we always have this thing where one or the other of us will go “I’m gonna lose half a stone before I see you next” and she’s managed it but I never have.

>3

>I’ve decided that it’s time I rejoin the Healthy You challenge.  A particularly good time as I never weighed myself at the weekend didn’t have time yesterday.

I did weigh myself this morning, however, and I was down 3lb from the last time I weighed (Saturday before last so ten days ago) and 5lb overall this year.

I have a serious long way to go on weightloss, realistically I need to lose a total of 98lb (although I’d be very happy with any weightloss and would probably consider myself done at 80-84lb lost if it came to it).  

There’s a big difference between what the charts etc and convention would suggest is a healthy weight for me and what I actually think is a happy weight for me.  Based on the charts I need to lose more than the 98lb than my goal (probably 107lb?) but I’ve been told that the charts are unrealistic for a wheelchair user, particularly given pressure issues etc.  So I’m saying 98lb but I know the weight losing 80-84lb gets me to was a happy weight for me before.

And my sisters 21st birthday party is in May, my short term goal if I can manage it (and i think it’s realistic) is to lose another 16lb by then.

>Last Meal… of the condemned woman*

>The secret is officially out.

I’m off to Slimming World in about ten minutes.

Anything could happen in the next half an hour…**

*I considered titling this post “Eat Drink and Be Merry for tomorrow we Die(t)” but as I had pizza for lunch and all I could think was “This is the last meal of the condemned woman” i figured that worked better for a title.

**bonus points if you can tell me where that quote comes from.

>I had to laugh

>With a worktop in front of me to fall onto if needed and my sister standing ready to catch me if I went backwards I managed to stand completely unsupported on the scales when I went to my Mum’s house earlier today.

We won’t talk about the numbers… They aren’t good.  We’re talking the 20lb I lost last year is back on with a fair chunk more on top.    But the numbers? they also don’t really matter.

My family make me laugh however.

I said something a bit after that about how much I weighed and the fact that it matters but it doesn’t in the grand scheme of things.

Sophie replied “Emma you weigh XXX, you’re almost dead!”

I had to laugh.

Ben, Geri and Dad were watching the Grand Prix in the other room.  When it finished Ben came over and kissed me on the head.  He hugged me and I was leaning on him.  He commented that he hadn’t seen me for a while.  We were chatting and I went “Ben I’m fat.”

He replied.  “No, you’re not…. well, I can’t lie…”

I had to laugh at that too.

It’s a bit like going to the hairdressers, I get my hair cut by one of two people.  One of them is dead skinny and if I ever comment that I worry my face will look fatter with my hair done a certain way she tells me I’m not fat.  That like hmmm… I love you, you liar.   And I always have to laugh at that too.

>Non Scales Victory!

>Someone I worked with commented this morning that I looked thinner ;o) and specifically that my bum looked smaller.  Pleased about the first… pleased about the second but also slightly bemused by that comment.

Can’t say I look closely enough at my colleague’s bums to notice if they are smaller than usual!

>Progress

>Down 4lb this week. Progress at last.

Looks like something is finally working again. Just need to get the exercise back in now. That’s a job for tomorrow me thinks. I have been doing my physio/stretches more however and the difference it’s made in my ankles in just a few days is astounding.

Am pretty wiped out now and still feeling a bit off from whatever it was that I had at the weekend. I don’t think it can have been Norovirus, that’s supposed to be incredibly nasty and what I had wasn’t nice but wasn’t up there in the incredibly nasty category. I just felt sick and felt sick and felt sick for about three days. Emotionally things are better too; had a bit of an air clearing session with someone earlier and we both cried but i at least felt better after it. So that’s more progress.

>Hormone Hell Blahs

>Tough day today.

Or maybe not all of it, but definitely part of it.

Let’s just say I tried to calmly talk to my mum about something that had been worrying me a bit and ended up entering hormone hell, losing the plot and crying.

Once again I am reminded why it was recommended that I take evening primrose oil.  And of the fact that I feel better when I do.

Three key thoughts that I keep coming back to lately

  1. Who’d have neighbours?
  2. Who’d be a woman?
  3. Who’d be a grown up?

I didn’t weigh myself this morning; couldn’t be bothered and suspected my impending period would screw things over and ruin my mood.  Not that it actually needed any ruining today.

I think it’s slowly going ok though and I’m hopeful for next week.  I’ve made changes and they’ve not seemed so hard.

I could do with something going right…

>Checking in for the Challenge

>The Look Great in 2008 Challenge over at Tales From The Scales, that is.

My past several weeks of not really caring saw me up 6lb  first thing Monday morning.  So the good is that I’m still 18lb lighter than I was 1st July 2007.  The other really good news is that I did OK dietwise Tuesday, better yesterday and today can only be considered GOOD!  Meaning those 6lb shouldn’t be around too long.  

I exercised today too and will tomorrow.  My planned swimming for today had to be cancelled as its too bloody cold to walk up there (I go in my powerchair which means I’m not actually moving around and generating body heat so I freeze) and I suspect I won’t make it to the pool tomorrow either.  I’ve done a fair amount of standing stretches and I danced round my lounge for 20 or so minutes earlier.

Hopefully this year should see me hit (and maintain at) my goal wait – I was reading a blog earlier in the week where the writer said she wanted to be at goal by 1st June.  I’m not sure how realistic it would be for me to reach that so I think I’ll set 1st July as my goal – giving me 7 months to lose 30lb ish which should be roughly doable.

Here’s hoping, anyway!

>Small Steps

>No change with the weight loss thing today/this week.  Not at all surprised and very happy (beyond happy, almost) to be where I am with my weight at this current moment in time.  Still got a really long way to go but… I’ll get there.

My Dad keeps saying stuff about how I need to lose more weight now because it’ll soon be my birthday and christmas and I’ll gain weight.  What’s the point in that?!  What will be, will be and I’m not going to be obssessed over my weight when I’m celebrating the fact that I’m getting old.  Maybe I will gain weight and maybe  won’t.  Who knows.  I don’t think I’ll lose any over those few weeks but what I do think is that in the long run it doesn’t matter because what does matter is a system I can live with, have fun with, enjoy and keep up.  And doing it this way I can.

We had our monthly workers meeting today and as it’s Christmas we had everyone bring in a few nibbles.  So I had nibbly bits instead of lunch.  It was going to be as well but my supervisor was like “why are you going out to buy a sandwich when everyones bringing nibbles?” and I realised the error of my ways.

A big part of the box of chocolate cookies i took was left over and they pushed me to take them home but I already had some here so I left them for everyone else to have with coffee next week (well the rest of this week more likely)

Small progress.  I’m pleased.