>The Spell Checker

>Ever wish that you could just catch a break?

That’s about where I’m at right now. I want out of this down cycle and I want out of it now.

But enough about that… I’m hoping my break is coming. I might have a fabby opportunity coming up and I’m hoping it might catapult me out of the cycle too. I am worrying though that I’m expecting too much of that and that my down cycle might just suck it in and ruin that for me. Never mind, no use worrying yet. Keep those fingers crossed it happens tho!

I noticed as I was typing this that I used a few wrong words… correctly spelt words but the wrong one for the context. And it reminded me of this poem I read ages ago so…

The Spell Checker

I have a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss takes I cannot see

I’ve run this poem threw it
I’m shore yaw pleased to no
It’s letter perfect in its weigh
My chequer told me sew…

A cheek or is a blessing
It freeze yew lodes of thyme
It helps me right awl stiles two reed
And aides me when aye rime

Now spilling does not phase me
It does knot bring a tier
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped words fare as hear

To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud
And wee mussed dew the best wee can
Sew flaws are knot aloud

So ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want to please

~Author Unknown

>Hope

>Wonderfully written with a powerful message… I wish I had written this… I wish I could write like this…

Hope

If you can look at the sunset and smile, then you still have hope.

If you can find beauty in the colors of a small flower, then you still have hope.

If you can find pleasure in the movement of a butterfly, then you still have hope.

If the smile of a child can still warm your heart, then you still have hope.

If you can see the good in other people, then you still have hope.

If the rain breaking on a roof top can still lull you to sleep, then you still have hope.

If the sight of a rainbow still makes you stop and stare in wonder, then you still have hope

If the soft fur of a favored pet still feels pleasant under your fingertips, then you still have hope.

If you meet new people with a trace of excitement and optimism, then you still have hope.

If you give people the benefit of a doubt, then you still have hope.

If you still offer your hand in friendship to others that have touched your life, then you still have hope.

If receiving an unexpected card or letter still brings a pleasant surprise, then you still have hope.

If the suffering of others still fills you with pain and frustration, then you still have hope.

If you refuse to let a friendship die, or accept that it must end, then you still have hope.

If you look forward to a time or place of quiet and reflection, then you still have hope.

If you still buy the ornaments, put up the Christmas tree or cook the turkey, then you still have hope.

If you still watch love stories or want the endings to be happy, then you still have hope.

If you can look to the past and smile, then you still have hope.

If, when faced with the bad, when told everything is futile,

you can still look up and end the conversation with the phrase…

“yeah….BUT..” then you still have hope.

Hope is such a marvelous thing. It bends, it twists,

it sometimeshides, but rarely does it break. It sustains us when nothing else can.

It gives us reason to continue and courage to move ahead, when we tell ourselves we’d rather give in.

Hope puts a smile on our face when the heart cannot manage.

Hope puts our feet on the path when our eyes cannot see it.

Hope moves us to act when our souls are confused of the direction.

Hope is a wonderful thing, something to be cherished and

nurtured, and something that will refresh us in return. And it can

be found in each of us, and it can bring light into the darkest of places.

Never lose hope.

Author Unknown

>Two of my poems – “CP Rocks” and “Just Trying”

>I’m working on a poetry challenge at the moment and so I’ve written quite a few over the weekend. I’m also atttempting to master Haiku’s but that’s not as easy as it looks!

At some point soon I’m going to set up a part of this webspace for my poetry and essays and other non blog writings. I’m hoping that somepoint soon will translate into today or tomorrow but I have a lot of stuff to get done so no promises.

But for now I thought I would share my two favourites of all of the poems I’ve written.

The first, CP Rocks was inspired by a list a friend made of 101 reasons why CP Rocks. That line stuck with me for weeks until I wrote the poem. I wrote it in December 2002 sat in the kitchen in my halls of residence at university.

CP ROCKS!

I have CP
So what?
Who gives a shit?
Please see me,
Don’t see it.

CP is just a part of my life
Although it sometimes causes me strife
I am me,
I am who I want to be

My name is Emma
And this is my dilemma
How can I show
Who I am?
How can I show
The real me
When all they see is CP?

When people see me they see a wheelchair
And miss the girl with the crazy hair
They see someone who they pity
And miss Emma who is quite witty

I love to sit at the top of a hill
And roll right down,
Receive a thrill
My own free rollercoaster,
It’s really brill
And never makes me ill!

But without my wheels,
Or my walker (made of steel)
I would be “normal”
And idea which to me
Is quite awful

I think walking is overrated
And what really leaves me frustrated
Is how society doesn’t like me
Just because I have CP

Is it really so bad?
I for one and very glad
There’s no need to be sad for me,
I’ve even been on TV!

I’ll tell you all about me
There’s more then what you can see.
I’m the girl at university
Living all alone
Far from home

I’m always on the phone to friends,
Driving them around the bend.
Saying lets go here,
Lets go there
For I will go anywhere
Looking for fun that never ends

Going out – CP makes it even better
(Except in really crappy weather)
no lines in which to wait.
And something that is really great
And scares those who pretend to care
Is when I show my wicked streak
Stand up and make those idiots freak.

For the girl listening to the band
In that front seat,
She cannot stand,
She cannot speak.

This they know without a doubt
So watch those losers now freak out
Because that girl with CP
Just happens to be me

And I can,
Its part of who I am!
I may not be able to ride a bike
But I can stand whenever I like
I may struggle to walk
But I sure can talk!

This is my message,
Black and white
Hear me shout:
“I LOVE MY LIFE!!”

Yes, it is true
I don’t feel blue
I don’t want a cure,
For how would I be me
If I didn’t have CP?

This poem is about to end
Its about a girl who wants to be your friend

Its about a girl who knows how to cope.
Its about Em who is full of hope!

I know this poem is full of shocks
Hope I’ve shown how much CP ROCKS!!

Emma ~ December 2002

The second poem is called “Just Trying” and is one I wrote back in October last year… To be specific I think I wrote it on the 16th but I can’t find it on my old blog to confirm that.

Just Trying
I’m just trying
To be me
So much more than
The girl they see

I might have this thing
They call CP
But that isn’t
What defines me.

I am different from you
But I think I have it best
I need a wheelchair and always will.

Now I am different
But eventually
You will be
The same as me.

Thanks to the great equaliser called life
One day you too will experience this kind of strife

When you are old
You will understand what you’ve been told

But for now
I will try and explain it somehow.
Yet it is difficult to show
That which I innately know.

I have to spend
My life of wheels
My CP will never end.

I can live with it
Or long to be without it
The choice is mine
To be made with help divine.

When I was a child
I wanted to die
Life with CP
Seemed too much for me.

Time heals
What was once a punishment
Isn’t any longer
Instead it makes me stronger.

If when you get old
Your health time steals
And you must spend your life on wheels.
Remember what you have been told.

Hold your head up high
It will become normal as time flies by
As you learn how to cope
Don’t lose hope.

I’m just trying to be me.
Can’t you see?
Being me
Happens to include
This thing called CP.

Emma ~ 16th October 2005

>It doesn’t have me.

>I’ve been reading some of my favourite inspirational writings this evening and then I felt led to write somethng similar myself. I had intended to write something along the lines of To You, My Sisters by Maureen K Higgins but then I re-read Challenged by Leslie W Ortega which is probably my favourite disability related poem (I also love My New Set of Wheels by Darlene Uggen probably just as much) and ended up writing a poem which might not be that similar to “Challenged” but is meant to show a similar idea/lesson. I hope you like it.


It Doesn’t Have Me


People say I am brave
That’s not how I see myself
I’m simply trying
Not to spend my life on the shelf.

Then they say I am inspirational
But I’m not that way at all
I’m simply trying
To keep on battling through

Life can be tough
The road may be rough
That is true for me
Just as it is for you too.

Having CP
Just makes me
A little different
It doesn’t make me stronger than you
For you face your own struggles too.

Life is what it is
And this is mine
It’s no big deal
No matter how you think I should feel

I do what I have to
Just like you

The only difference is
It’s hard for people to see
I am not CP
I am me.
Look past “the worst thing you could imagine”
And remember that
I have CP
It doesn’t have me

By Emma ~ 26 May 2006